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I was in a bar the other evening when this really bad-ugly girl came up to me, squeezed my ass and said ‘give me your number sexy’. I replied, ‘have you got a pen?. She smiled and said ‘yes’. I replied ‘well you better get back to it before the farmer notices you’re missing’.
A man comes to a costume party dressed only in a pair of jeans. A woman comes up to him and says, ‘what are you supposed to be?’ The man says ‘a premature ejaculation’. ‘What? says the woman. The man says ‘I’ve just came in my pants’.
This is good.
I love brilliant marketing.
DeBeers is uber rich and we’re all struggling to ‘do the right thing’.
If someone offers you drugs, just say NO and keep saying NO because that will get the price way down.
Why pot should be decriminalized.
Well written, thought provoking and worth the time to read. You don’t have to agree or believe all said but you have to have an open mind.
“Only the most intelligent people ever take inventory of their own beliefs (and, by definition, distortions). For one, the process takes real courage. What if you come to discover that some of your beliefs have no legitimate basis at all? Then you might have to change those beliefs, and that’s scary!”
“Question everything, starting with your own mind.”
“Most of what you are told today from popular sources is complete fiction at best; and wild delusion at worst. Unless you are dissociated from the internet and all the insane noise it generates, you have not achieved genuine clarity of mind. More and more, I’m coming to realize why “wise men” become hermits and disappear into nature, totally isolated from human civilization. That’s the only place where truth can be consistently found without interference from the insanity of human distortions.”
What to do when the kiss cam comes-a-lookin and you ain’t-a-kissin…
COSTELLO: I want to talk about the unemployment rate in America .
ABBOTT: Good Subject. Terrible Times. It’s 7.8%.
COSTELLO: That many people are out of work?
ABBOTT: No, that’s 14.7%
COSTELLO: You just said 7.8%.
ABBOTT: 7.8% Unemployed.
COSTELLO: Right 7.8% out of work.
ABBOTT: No, that’s 14.7%.
COSTELLO: Okay, so it’s 14.7% unemployed.
ABBOTT: No, that’s 7.8%.
COSTELLO: WAIT A MINUTE. Is it 7.8% or 14.7%?
ABBOTT: 7.8% are unemployed. 14.7% are out of work.
COSTELLO: If you are out of work you are unemployed.
ABBOTT: No, Congress said you can’t count the “Out of Work” as the unemployed. You have to look for work to be unemployed.
COSTELLO: BUT THEY ARE OUT OF WORK!!!
ABBOTT: No, you miss his point.
COSTELLO: What point?
ABBOTT: Someone who doesn’t look for work can’t be counted with those who look for work. It wouldn’t be fair.
COSTELLO: To whom?
ABBOTT: The unemployed.
COSTELLO: But ALL of them are out of work.
ABBOTT: No, the unemployed are actively looking for work. Those who are out of work gave up looking and if you give up, you are no longer in the ranks of the unemployed.
COSTELLO: So if you’re off the unemployment rolls that would count as less unemployment?
ABBOTT: Unemployment would go down. Absolutely!
COSTELLO: The unemployment just goes down because you don’t look for work?
ABBOTT: Absolutely it goes down. That’s how they get it to 7.8%. Otherwise it would be 14.7%. Our govt. doesn’t want you to read about 14.7% unemployment.
COSTELLO: That would be tough on those running for reelection.
COSTELLO: Wait, I got a question for you. That means there are two ways to bring down the unemployment number?
ABBOTT: Two ways is correct.
COSTELLO: Unemployment can go down if someone gets a job?
COSTELLO: And unemployment can also go down if you stop looking for a job?
COSTELLO: So there are two ways to bring unemployment down, and the easier of the two is to have people stop looking for work.
ABBOTT: Now you’re thinking like an Economist.
COSTELLO: I don’t even know what the hell I just said!
ABBOTT: Now you’re thinking like Congress.
This video pretty well describes Obamacare to a T. Entertaining in a sad sort of way.